Back in the grind

I woke up today at the relatively reasonable hour of 5.45am…a far cry from normal, but even farther from the insane 2am wake-ups that have been markin’ my jet-lagged ass for the past week. I’m finally able to do some good time in the bed, sleeping and sleeping. I don’t remember jet lag being this bad, but honestly, I don’t think I was upright and sober for more than a few minutes the last time I returned from Africa.

It’s been really nice gettin’ to see the peeps and reconnect with all of my friends. I am missing my Zanzibari family and friends rather desperately, but I know now that there will be much less time between visits than the time between the last two, Inshallah. I am so fortunate to be so close with a family so far away, both distance-wise and culturally (at least there’s a great distance between the one I was raised in and their culture). I happen to think I fit in there quite fine, and not quite as well here.

I’m not trying to say that I’m a saint or anything, but I really feel out of place right now. I haven’t been passing judgement on too many folks over the past four or five weeks, and a get home into this maelstrom of ego and pomp. I can feel the difference in my reactions to people, places and things. Each day I have to stop constantly to remind myself not to get involved with the thoughts that seem to pop up so much easier here – I just feel a little bit dirty mentally in the States. As if I’m supposed to be involved in this rat race and feeding myself in the trough of fast-food-additive-hormone-steriod_beef-land.

I love my life, and I love my city, but I’m really having a hard time here. This too shall pass, I know, as I’m just readjusting to this culture which is far different from the one I left. Again, it’s not a “better or worse” situation, as there are many pros and cons to both. I guess the things I have a problem with here are just getting highlighted right now, and I’m just trying to approach that as a gift and to make note of the feelings while they’re happening.

It’s a transient state I tell you. I dose of cultural realignment with a fat slab of 2 pound jet lag…I really am in a pretty good mood, even though you’d never guess it from these words. Ha. Whatever. It is what it is.

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